Shepherdstown United Methodist Church
Tuesday, June 25, 2019

L.I.F.E. Discussion

Making Children Mind - Week2 : Why Kids misbehave

This week we learned the 3 reasons why children misbehave: Attention, Power, Revenge. We also learned tips for dealing with these situations from the "Reality Discipline" point of view. We also read John 21:15-22 ( spoke of Jesus asking "peter do you love me" 3 times, the same number of times he denied him. This verse really had me confused, it talks nothing about parenting! However, if you look at it from Jesus' point of view as a "parent". Jesus certainly would have been justified to embarrass, humiliate, or even scold Peter " a child in faith". Instead he used it as an opportunity for Peter to learn to understand actions have consequences and to accept responsibility and make it right, not in private with no one looking but in front of his "family" of disciples. Jesus told Peter what he expected him to do: "Follow me". Jesus taught Peter that failure isn't final. Parents and children will make mistakes, but they can learn from them and move on -- just like Peter. We may not love what our children do, but we discipline our children because we love them. Can you describe for me a situation/circumstances where it might be easy to allow your child to fail? Conversely, can you describe for me a situation/circumstances where it might be extremely difficult to allow your child to fail?

Posted by kkapp 2013-12-03 21:20:48

Allowing our kids to fail?

I think it's easy to let our kids fail when the stakes are low.  For example: playing a video game, tying their own shoes, using a fork to try and get food to their mouth.  But when the stakes are high, I find it much more difficult to hush the "here, let Daddy help you" instinct.  Certainly we won't let our children fail when their safety is in jeopardy (jumping on the couch near a hard table, going down the steps on their own when they haven't done it before, running out onto the street to get a ball, etc.)  But I think there are times where it's best to let them do the trial and error process.  Examples of that might be when they do their homework and get it wrong or they study for a test but they don't have good study habits yet and they don't get the best grade.  Then, after the "failure" you can work with them on how to improve upon the effort and find success at the next opportunity.

Posted by Brian 2013-12-04 14:37:32

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I saw this article, kind of seemed to fit right in! A lot of our discussion centered around school, but sports is another great example.

Posted by kkapp 2013-12-12 08:03:42

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Sports article

Good article!  As an avid sports fan and competitor, I'm sure it will be tough when my kids start playing sports.  I'll want to get down on the field and help them succeed.  I'm sure it's very hard to be a spectator when your kid is a participant.

Posted by Brian 2013-12-12 08:16:32

2nd part Lesson 2 - Week 3

Last week we really had some great discussion about why kids misbehave. I was in a meeting with a US district Attorney talking about Internet Safety (Was a PTO Sponsored event). I was almost surprised when during a video, one of the young female victims of a child predator stated, " I know I'm not supposed to chat with strangers on the internet, but I did it as retaliation...." . Wow, That really set off a few alarms in my mind! I find my self thinking about the last part of Ephesians 6: 1-4 "and you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.". I don't think kids see the "big picture", how can they, they are innocent, they don't know or truly understand evil when they are young. Our actions or reactions to situations, our attitudes really influence our children and how they grow. Can you list some of your own actions or attitudes that send the wrong messages to your children? Think specifically about how they know you mean business. I would also encourage you to start a journal or keep a log recording examples of reality discipline you put into practice. Remember: Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.

Posted by kkapp 2013-12-14 09:05:26